How to tell women jokes

Do you remember Barney in How I Met Your Mother He can get away with women jokes, whether prudish or offensive, and still go home with the extremely beautiful lady. What man wouldn’t want such mojo up their sleeve Nonetheless it takes more than just rocking a slim fit suit and sending out the feminine jests with a bold looking face; you need to read, learn and understand your audience first.

From the stand-up comedian doing shows to the ordinary guy entertaining ladies at the bar, it takes great skill pulling off a joke about women. There are those jests that would work around men only, women only and an audience of both. Here is how you can make everyone laugh in all occasion and not come out offensive.

The Men

Men are quite okay with any kind of women jokes; the raunchier the better. The only thing you have to mind here is the age bracket of men you are dealing with. Say you are a hired jester at a boys only teenage party, definitely you cannot tell overly mature or steamy jokes; the child’s morals is at stake. Telling jokes to men of your age is easy because you grew up together and they can tolerate your nasty thought process. Lastly, if you are dealing with a crowd of men older than you, you have to tone down on the raunchy once more and still make them laugh; if you could add a dose of intellect into it, you have scored high points.

The Women

When you telling women jokes to an all feminine crowd, you have to aware of one word; sensitive. Women are sensitive and you have to be careful not to offend them as you try to make them laugh. Jests that make men look domineering over the women will make a few of them laugh while the rest just stare. Jokes that are funny and make the men look overpowered by the women will definitely land you a standing ovation. Here is the punch line; if the joke is funny and makes the lady feel good about herself, you definitely have her heart as well.

An Audience of Both

This is a position most stand up comedians find themselves in, and you have to be quite calculative to make your women jokes count. The best word to keep in mind here is ‘balance’; tell jokes that will make the men laugh over the women and those that will make the women laugh out loud at the men as well. Yes you create men vs. women scenario but it’s healthy. Then look for those jokes where both the feminine and male character come out as clowns to re-unite the entire audience once more. But always mind the mood of the ladies more, because men are quite easy with any women jokes you tell provided they laugh.

Your Personality Matters

People always connect the joke to the personality of the man or woman telling them. Say you are among friends, if you always come out as prudish, gentlemanly or with high morals, telling raunchy jokes will actually raise eye brows instead of inspiring laughs. It’s important to know how your audience perceives you to know the exact women jokes that will be accelerated by your personality.

Personality of the Audience

Personality gauging cuts both ways, so you also have to understand the person you are with. If they are easy and outgoing, you can be safe with jokes of any nature. Then there are those guys who are a little reserved and you have to cut through that iron wall with jokes that resonate with them. It’s really a skill you nurture the more you interact with people. You just have to take a risk first time to see how the audience responds; if they laugh well and good, if they don’t regroup and come back stronger.

Telling women jokes may be hard at first but with practice it becomes as easier. You really have to be great at reading people, understanding your audience and knowing your own personality too. You can borrow some inspiration from famous comedians like Martin Lawrence, Kevin Hart or Daniel Sloss who aren’t afraid to tell a feminine joke.

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How to charm a girl

Gentlemen, would you like to know how to charm a girl? If there’s a special lady you’ve been thinking about, do you want to know how to make her like you — and only you? Well, read on, because the following tips are going to show you exactly how to snag the girl of your dreams.

1. Be Mature

In kindergarten, a girl knew you liked her if you teased her and pulled her hair. Well, that time’s over now! Because girls tend to mature faster than guys, a girl (or, I should say, woman) who is all grown up is far less likely to be charmed by immature acts from guys. She is far more likely to respond to a guy who acts and looks like to he has it all together than someone who just wants to play the fool to get her attention. Such behavior is just going to make you look desperate to her. So play it cool and by all means, laugh and joke around with her (no one wants to be with someone who is serious ALL the time) but be sure to keep your behavior and actions age appropriate.

2. Be Kind

Women are intrinsically nurturing creatures, and they look to be with someone who can show a little kindness and caring from time to time, both toward her and to others. She likely doesn’t want to be with a jerk, so tone down the harshness or abrupt attitude, if you have one. No, you don’t have to be a wimp, but show a little kindness to people and she’ll definitely be attracted to your sensitive side.

3. Be Thoughtful

You already know that you should never forget her birthday or your anniversary, but what about the times in between? It’s the little things that really count, so make an effort to show her that you are thinking about her even when you’re not with her. For example, if she told you she has a big presentation to make at work, be sure to send her a quick “good luck” note before she gets to the office or follow up with a call afterward to ask her how it went. When she casually mentions she likes a particular flower or restaurant, surprise her later on by sending her a bouquet or booking a table, which leads to the next tip…

4. Be A Good Listener

Women are always attracted to men who are good listeners. We all want to be heard, but women naturally talk more than men (even as babies, girls tend to talk in sentences sooner than boys), so listening to her is very important. When she speaks, make eye contact, don’t fidget with your watch or phone, make her feel like you are truly present in the conversation and that she matters to you.

5. Be Tidy

Looks aren’t everything, but they do matter. You are less likely to charm a girl if you have a sloppy appearance or terrible, dirty clothes. So, clean it up guys. You don’t have to spend hours in front of the mirror (leave that to her), but paying a bit of attention to the way you look says that you are proud of who you are, and that you care enough about her to look your very best when you’re together.

6. Compliment Her

Pay her a compliment now and then. Not all girls are vain, but they all want to know exactly what it is that you like about them. We all have our insecurities, and when someone genuinely compliments us, it feels good. So pay her a compliment from time to time. And when you do, don’t just compliment her looks, compliment her mind and accomplishments. If she volunteered all Saturday at an animal shelter, tell her how caring and sweet she is. She will love you for noticing!

7. Be Romantic

Of course, the number one way to charm her is to be romantic. Roses, poetry, candlelight dinner – these are all very romantic, but be sure that whatever you do is romantic in HER opinion. If she finds long walks in the rain romantic, well, get your umbrella. Being her Prince Charming is not just about charming her – it’s about getting to know the real her, inside and out.

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How To Make A Girl Want You

When you get dating advice, there’s a huge difference in what you’re instructed to do depending on whether you’re listening to a guy or a girl. If you listen to another guy on how to make a girl want you, it’s more likely he’ll base his tips on what he thinks girls want. If you listen to a girl, you’re getting better insight into what she would want and what she knows what her own girl friends want from a guy. So take it from a girl, sometimes the straightforward game is so much easier and far more effective than what the world’s most famous pick up artists will tell you.

Dress The Part
It’s true, girls like to sit around at home in their pajamas with no makeup on. I do it all the time. But when a man catches my eye, it’s highly unlikely he’s dressed down in sweats and an old t-shirt. We’re all hypocrites. We’re attracted to people who look attractive. It’s science, so make an effort at least when you’re out in public.

Exude Confidence
Some girls are drawn to guys with problems. They have the urge to take care of them emotionally as well as physically. But have you ever noticed that a lot of the time, these bad boys who can’t get their lives together are still the type to have a ton of confidence? I’m not advising you to become a trainwreck. I’m just reminding you that no matter what, confidence is always sexy to a woman.

We like to air our own insecurities and be given reassurance, but I don’t have a lot of girl friends who would be turned on if they had to constantly give their boyfriends self-esteem boosts. It must come down to our instincts to find a mate that can take care of us and the more confident he seems, the more likely it will be that we can depend on him.

Work On Your Own Interests And Passions

This is a thing men and women have in common. No one is going to be interested in you if you aren’t interested in anything. Unless you’ve got the body of a male model, the face of a Hollywood actor or the bank account of a Russian billionaire. In that case, you’ll find some of the world’s most beautiful women are lining up to get a date. Otherwise, you’ll have to offer a little more substance when it comes to personality. This is a great way to make women want you without having to do a thing. It can be anything. Nothing is too trivial because someone out there could be into it too.

Showcase your love for travel by blogging about it. Instagram some photos of great eats you’ve been having lately if you’re a foodie. It’ll make some girl out there think, “Hey, that looks like a fun time. We could have a fun time together.” Yes, it really is that easy. Being the kind of guy with his own interests is how you make the women come to you instead of having to go to them with pick up lines.

Be Subtle With Flirting
Now, this is what is really tricky. When we are vaguely interested in a guy or intrigued and want to know more, we do it by flirting. Or we let him come to us and flirt with us. When you’re in this phase, you’re walking a tightrope. I’m sorry guys, but it’s true. We’re noticing you and making mental notes. Is he confident about approaching me? Is he coming on too strong? Is he so overconfident that he thinks he’s got it in the bag?

These are just some of the things we’ll be asking ourselves. When it comes to flirting, you can’t go wrong with smiling, saying hi whenever you see her and having a short conversation. To toe the line like a pro, take cues from her. If she’s smiling back and engaging actively, you can take the flirtation up a notch. Even friends flirt with each other, so a little sexual innuendo can’t hurt.

Make Her Laugh
Be the guy she always looks forward to seeing because he brightens up her day. I’ve seen girls develop an attraction for guys they never saw that way before just because of this. I don’t mean for you to walk in telling jokes or feeling like you need to be on all the time in order to entertain her. Just make an effort to be the kind of person who deals with difficult situations by seeing the humor in them. Crack jokes whenever it’s appropriate.

Smart girls like sarcasm and wit more than crude jokes. It does take effort and it is a bit like having to entertain someone and you can feel free to skip it if it doesn’t come naturally to you. But if you have a little bit of a comedian in you, don’t hesitate to let him out because keeping him suppressed is doing you no favors.

Take The Lead
I can personally vouch for this one. It totally works. I mentioned earlier that deep down, even if they don’t want to how to make a girl want you - woman kissing man admit it to themselves, girls are attracted to guys that make them feel like they would be taken care of. It’s not just with money or muscles. It the ability to think on their feet, to always have an idea or a solution. That doesn’t mean we want to be bossed around or told what to do.

It just means that if we had to pick a guy that we have to take care of versus one who can take care of us, we’d pick the second guy. Again, you don’t have to pull out your wallet when it comes to taking care of her. It’s the little things. If you know how to get somewhere so she doesn’t have to worry about it. If she’s not sure where to go on a first date to but you have a great idea or two. Girls are suckers for this stuff. A guy who can’t step up will see his relationships fail. A guy who is confident enough to get a girl to rely on him instead of relying on her to take care of the little things will have no problem making her want him.

Show Her Your Soft Side 

If you want to know how to make a girl want you when you haven’t even asked her to date you yet, do it by getting a little vulnerable. Girls are always questioning themselves when they’re interested in a guy, whether it’s going anywhere, whether he’s worth pining over. If you can get her into a conversation where you talk long enough to get to your hopes, dreams and fears, you’ve got a really good shot. It’s the best way to make her open up to you in return.

If she starts to talk about her personal issues and thoughts as well, try to have similar conversations again. This is like playing the long game and it’s definitely a little more demanding in effort than telling her you’re attracted to her and want to date her, but it’ll make her want you without needing any further convincing. And another bonus for going slow is that by the time you ask her, the odds that she’ll reject you after all that are very low.

Consider Getting Fit
This one is the most obvious. Chances are, you don’t have to do a thing. Even girls that are fit head to toe don’t always care if the guy they dates is. But you have to admit, when a girl is that fit, she does turn your head. So its only natural that girls are also attracted to guys that are fit. If you can master your own physique, you won’t even have to put an effort into the majority of the tips I’ve given you. It’s sad but true. Another option is to work on everything to some degree.

To not get obsessed, but to make an effort in all departments. You can choose to start eating healthier and start working out more without a specific body goal in mind. That way, you’ll be working on your health but also getting more physically attractive at the same time. Feel totally free to skip this one but just remember that it makes everything easier. This is either very fortunate or unfortunate, depending on how hard or easy it would be for you to get fit.

Never Complain About Money

This is a tip other guys probably won’t tell you about but it’s something that girls often discuss with each other. There’s nothing worse than going on a date with a guy that complains about the prices on a menu when you’re just trying to have a good time. Even when we can guess that you don’t have millions to burn, we’re fine with that fact but we don’t enjoy worrying about your wallet along with you. So until you get her to fall in love with you, stay quiet about money issues while you’re getting her to fall for you.

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